Watashi among men

I have a small question about the personal pronoun "watashi."
Just as it is normal for women to use it in formal and casual situations, the matter looks different with men. A guy who uses watashi in a casual conversation (e.g. with friends, colleagues) sounds stiff and distant. How does this apply to relationships at work? I'm asking because on another forum someone wrote that "he and his colleagues use 'watashi' towards each other when they are in the office." I don't know if that someone was making it up or just a foreigner who didn't know what pronoun to use. As far as I'm concerned, I think he should use "boku/ore" since he is talking to his friends (no matter if they are at work or not).

Thanks a lot for your help!

It's fairly common for a grown male to use "watashi" even in casual situations. It's just a preference.

Some think that "boku" is kind of too boyish while "ore" could be a bit too rough. I can immediately think of about a dozen male friends who use "watashi" when talking to me. Again, it's just a preference, just like preferring apples over oranges.

Very interesting! I didn't expect that a man referring to himself as watashi could be the norm during casual conversations. I usually read on websites and in the textbook that men should use ore or boku, as watashi sounds not only stiff but feminine.

Thank you for your reply!

I think at work I rarely hear anyone use ore. That’s for use with friends /at home
Boku I hear sometimes from colleagues, but I’d say generally it is watashi or surname. And in some internal meetings some of my male colleagues actually use watakushi. Which I always notice because normally I’d expect that only in client meetings.

I totally agree with LikeBike, and "watashi" is not feminine at all. Even transvestites use everything from boku, ore to watashi and atashi. It's the way you say it, not the word itself. And "watashi/atashi" is the most common if not the only first-person term we hear in rakugo. I guess you can say that if a teenage or younger male uses "watashi/atashi", he would sound like a snob, but it's just a regular, very neutral grown-up term.

boku is rather a childish word. if an adult man uses it, it sounds that the speaker may pretend to be young or resist to be old (or matured or be an adult).

「As far as I'm concerned, I think he should use "boku/ore" since he is talking to his friends (no matter if they are at work or not).」

A lot of time in Japan language choices aren't just influenced by the relationship between the speaker and listener, but also where the conversation is happening. Even if they're friendly coworkers, two men might not use ore in the workplace, out of concern that it might sound too rough/casual, especially since the workplace is generally considered a ore formal environment in Japan than it is in many western countries. Likewise, it wouldn't be unusual for a man to use watashi in social situations when referring to himself when talking in mixed company, especially if he's sort of one layer removed from the core of the group, like if he's meeting is girlfriend's friends of family.

I would say, though, that it would be sort of unusual for a group of all men who are peers, and in an informal setting, to all use watashi when referring to themselves, though not jarring or socially unacceptable.

Regarding boku, maybe some of the Japanese here can confirm. But my impression is that it is much more common at workplace in Osaka than Tokyo. I’d say that my Tokyo male colleague rarely use boku at work (they might at an informal nomikai after work). While from Osaka colleagues I hear boku more frequently in internal meetings

Thank you very much for all your replies!

It has cleared up a bit in my mind. I was previously convinced that watashi can sound weird in casual conversation (in many manga and anime, boys usually use boku/ore, and rarely watashi). I'm glad you helped me figure it out. Besides, from what I've read, I guess it really also depends on where you live, as in one watashi may be the more popular form, while in another part of the country a different pronoun may be popular.

Thank you very much!

my impression is that it is much more common at workplace in Osaka than Tokyo

Being born and mainly raised in Tokyo where I am still based in business-wise, I don't think so. It has more to do with the type of people. Actually, most men use all "watashi, boku and ore" (and more) while some put weight in either of them. A lot of grown males in Greater Tokyo, young and old, who speak to me as professionals do use "boku" a lot.

I encourage the OP to listen to non-fiction such as documentaries and talk shows to get the feel of it.

I encourage the OP to listen to non-fiction such as documentaries and talk shows to get the feel of it.

Good idea. I know some interesting programs to watch. I might give it a try.